I dont mean to sound ungrateful; our life is good enough on paper, but thats all it is: paper! Im just lost and could go on for hours. One of the things I care a lot about is humans. The symptoms of depression and unhappiness can vary widely, but may include: If you or your wife are experiencing any of these symptoms, it is important to seek professional help. It hurts so much when you ignore me like that like I dont matter as much as your work does. After all weve been through, I think it does and Ive started feeling like its not an option youd consider anymore. And if that means ending our relationship so you can find happiness with someone else, then so be it. And if you are insecure, instead of fighting with me, why dont you douse me with your love so much that you will be sure that no one will be able to take your place? I firmly believed there was nothing I could do. All Rights Reserved. A fight and make up will never take that away. Sometimes Ill tell you. You still have so many years of living ahead of you, places to go, sights to see, feelings to feel - so grab them with both hands, hold tight and jump. We know when one of us needs space, and we know when one of us needs that extra loving. Practice self-care: Engaging in activities that promote physical and emotional well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques, can help improve overall mood. As a husband, you may have thoughts of leaving the marriage. And sometimes when we do talk, its only because you want something from me: sex or money or whatever else floats your boat. I can see that you dont see the woman you fell in love with when you look at me, and that hurts. You tell me that you have a lot of work at work and dont have time for me or the kids but its not like that at all. 15 Warning Signs You Need A Divorce For Sure, Is It Better To Divorce Or Stay Unhappily Married? It's like a cold that lingers, leaving you drained and vulnerable," explains Paul Hokemeyer, J.D., Ph.D. "Symptoms can include severe headaches, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, neck, and back pain. Just listen to me and ask about the cloudy days. All those pieces coming together the texts, the absences on an affair. I would have never met you or had our child, but I also wouldnt have known what I was missing. I dont want to give up on that man, my love. Becci blogs over at swordsandsnoodles.co.uk. Follow this journey on Swords and Snoodles. You dont have time for me anymore. And inside that tower I stay. "mainEntity": [ Is the weather nice? Its that I feel like Im losing control over my mind. That is enough for me. Please dont ask me if ImOK my automatic answer will beyes. If youd like to participate, please send a blog post tocommunity@themighty.com. ", But I want you to know that I am here for you, and that when things get tough, I'll be there in spirit. You're happy when I'm happy, and you're sad when I'm sad. I'm not happy. I love our children more than anything, but sometimes I feel like a failure. I guess what Im trying to say here is that something needs to change. For a realm where there are no tears for me. What Is Sleep Divorce and How Can It Save A Marriage? How could you do such a thing to someone who has loved you so much throughout these years? If you or someone you know needs help, see oursuicide prevention resources. Waiting. Now that I know what I would miss, Im here to stay. There, youll also find thoughts and questions by our community. I know that marriages sometimes simply cant work, but doesnt ours at least deserve a chance? Let us do away with these trivial marriage issues. If for any reason you are not able to perform it, it can bring misunderstanding leading to a lack of interest in the relationship. Take some time to think things through and have some space to really feel my absence. I have given you all that I could give, but it just seems like it is never enough for you. Id lock the memory of you in there for all eternity and let no one come as close to me as you did. I fight it so hard for myself, my children and for you. I know it can add up quickly. An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. Youre not happy with me anymore either because I havent lost any weight since having the baby and you say that I dont look good in anything anymore so why bother trying? Not the Mr. and Mrs. that we used to be, but just two strangers with the same last name. Shouldnt we keep trying to make each other happy? You always have that beer in your hand when not working. I know that you are going through a lot of stress at work right now and you need to focus on that. "acceptedAnswer": { Whod want to write a letter to a husband about feeling unwanted? I wanted you to trust me because I knew I wasnt wrong. How to Discuss Your Depression with Your Partner 1. I had married a lover, not a detective who is out to sniff out mysteries all the time. Privacy A man like you is hard to find and I dont even think theres someone like you out there. This can reflect some change patterns in the marriage making it possible to fall out of love. Ive spoken to my girlfriends and they all say the same. I miss getting flowers and chocolate just because you wanted to surprise me. If you'd like to participate, please send a blog post to community@themighty.com. There would be an empty place in my heart nothing and no one could fill. Seek professional help: A mental health professional can provide a diagnosis and develop a treatment plan tailored to the individuals needs. Many of my patients who suffer from depression claim they're . I dont want to feel like this anymore. Include Your Partner in Your Treatment Strategy. I feel like a rubbish momma. Continue the conversation. Separation is not an option, if you ask me, but feeling alone in a marriage shouldnt be an option either. I'm depressed. I am not an affectionate person and he knew that from day 1 but Ive made a conscious effort to be better and I make it priority because I dont want him feeling the pain I do caused by him. Thats not how you count eternity and I need to know that I can count on you on an eternity with you. Every marriage encounters some bumps on the road, but the strong ones survive everything. But the truth is, Im not happy either, and that makes me feel like Im failing you as a wifeand as a person. Days when you are not quite yourself. I miss us and the way we used to look at each other with love. Your email address will not be published. Instead of cuddling and watching a movie, we create real-life drama. My mind nags me and tells me other mommas do things better and love better than me. A year ago, our marriage was perfect. I couldnt kill myself only because I know how much it would hurt you. Thats what you said. I didnt like the new house, or our neighbors, or being far away from my family and friends. 20 Things That Make Wives Unhappy In A Marriage. But if you dont want me anymore and dont want to fix things, take a break. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. And its not just because youve been there for me, but because I love you and want to be with you at any cost. Get hand-picked resources and highlights from our Mighty community straight to your inbox. Depression is vile a vile, nasty monster. Coping Strategies for Husbands. Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for Indians everywhere! This Sex Therapist Explains Why She Makes Out With Her Husband Every. Writing about your feelings can be beneficial in helping you understand your emotions and may help you discover other ways to express yourself to those you love. But I have to believe were together for a reason. Let me feel like a wife again, not just like a roommate. I didnt lie. Things have been difficult between us lately, but we can fix them if we try hard enough! Please, if you notice the cloud before I tell you, just hug me tight and tell me well fight it together. 3. You work long hours at work, and when you do come home, all you do is complain about how tired you are. Not to see you suffer or walk through my shoes, but to have a chance to show you that I will always be there for you, too. You had wanted to see my call log. It doesnt feel that way anymore, though, and its killing me. But you still stay and try to be happy for the both of us. I cant just go on with my life without you, but I cant keep feeling so unloved either. I feel like Im drowning in this marriage, and youre not helping me. 1. I know that things havent been perfect lately but that doesnt mean they cant get better again someday either! And thank you for the late night talks when you know something isnt right. And when you view me like that all the time, it hurts me so much. I know my depression makes you sad sometimes. You can also request feedback in the conclusion. Research helps you know about depression, its causes, symptoms, and how to treat it. 12 Signs Of A Lying Spouse. I know that this letter may seem harsh and mean-spirited towards you but it is not intended that way at all! You were ready to do anything for me, and now Im here asking you to let me do the same for you. The woman on the other side. I dont know what happened, but maybe its time for both of us to start working on the marriage again instead of just living our lives separately and not really talking about anything important anymore. We havent spoken to each other in a long time and I dont expect you to answer me. The truth is, even if were not seeing other people, we barely see each other anymore, even when were in the same room. Our chemistry is crazy. I love you dearly, more than anything in this whole world. Im here. The body should however talk about your feelings, how unhappy you feel and what you think might be the cause. I couldnt have ever imagined that being married was like being in a long-distance relationship. I'm not sure how I should be feeling about the things said between me and my husband. The family we were when we couldnt stand being apart because something was always drawing us closer. This letter is my last chance to show him how alone I really feel So here goes. I wouldnt be writing this letter if youd still show me the affection you used to. And then we got married and had kids togetherand now here we are. And thats not something that should be mentioned more than once. I feel lonely and empty inside. Why are you suspicious all the time? Show empathy and understanding: It is important to validate your wifes feelings and show her that you care. Now all we talk about are things like groceries and bills stuff that doesnt really matter in the grand scheme of things. Rehab center, also known as rehabilitation is a drug addiction treatment to provide and give support and care to people who have problem with drug addiction, and depression and finds it difficult to put a stop to it. I was giving myself forever to my best friend, soulmate, lover, the other half that made me complete. Does the designation of a husband come with this responsibility? Depressed Unhappy Wife Letter To Husband: How To Go About It. I feel like Im drowning in a sea of my own tears. All you need is to put your mind to what is it that you want to tell your husband, and since is about you are the best person to write it and write it how you want it to be understood. Dont you remember how we used to smile and how carefree we were about what tomorrow could bring? The contents have gone from the more expensive craft . I wanted to express how much I adore and care about you." Well, Im not laughing and I havent for a very long time. If youre not, thats okay too. You were the best husband anyone could wish for, so why did it have to stop? Thank you for funding my therapy, doctors appointments, and medications. , { Squeeze my hand tight ifyoureawake too. This letter to a husband about feeling unwanted is my scream for your attention - my pain finally put into words. And thats why Im going to write a letter to my husband about feeling unwanted and unloved. How Do I Write A Letter To My Husband About My Feelings? You are my best friend and the person who makes me laugh the most. Show me that you love me and dont ever make me doubt your love again. Various factors, including a loss of control and abuse in a marriage, can cause depression. , { "@type": "FAQPage", It is more than aone year since that day and, after numerous phone calls and quite a few tears, you have been meeting with a psychologist who has helped you (well helped both of us) learn to deal with your depression and anxiety in a healthy, controlled way. I know I talk about life being hard to live. Night. This letter from wife to husband was written after years of fighting, yelling, hurting and dealing with marriage issues. Marital tension has been related to an increase in the prevalence of mental health issues such as depression and alcoholism. I shouldnt feel unwanted by the man I planned to spend the rest of my life with. Becci is very honest, brutally honest, and prides herself on this. Instead, you listened and you encouraged me to do what I thought might help me. I wish we could go back in time and relive those moments where everything felt so right between us but sadly time keeps moving forward no matter how hard we try. You dont know what its like to be in your shoes, so I am going to tell you everything. We dont do the things we used to do. And I did it all with love. After such a long time of pure love and honesty, dont start with lies now. All these years it was lying dormant, but it was still there. Im sorry for hurting you, for the fights we have and for not being the wife you need me to be. I need to be confident that youre never going to give up on us. 4. The choice depends on what you make. In as much as there should be fun, one should note that marriage goes beyond having fun. I know that you would do anything for me. Underneath the dark clouds of depression, I promise there is a gleaming smile. You know me you know that Im a woman who can survive anything. I want to publicly thank you for loving me and supporting me. Writing a letter to a husband could help you choose your words carefully and convincingly. A Letter to My Husband About Our Relationship. I know its hard for you to understand what is happening in my life right now because you are busy working all day long, but please try to listen carefully to what I am saying. I am sorry that I couldnt keep my promise of being your wife who will always be there for you. You are trapped by your own thoughts and ideas about how things should be and what you want from life; and I am trapped by my own mind as well because even though I know that no one will ever understand me, including myself, I still try anyway. But then, slowly, I started to see the side of you that you were so apt to hide from me and the rest of the world for fear of being found out. One day I hope it wont ever cross my mind again. Because, lets face it, thats what weve really been yelling for. I was at a party and I had a tiny crush on the married birthday girl, and I watched her husband ignore her all night (and already knew him to be a less-than-ideal partner). When you reached your lowest low, it was difficult for me to not take personally your statements asking me to simply let you be and that you needed to work through it on your own. But weve been married for more than ten years, and nothing has changed between us. Maybe theres already someone else in your life, but you need to know that youre irreplaceable in mine. Take care of yourself: Caring for your own well-being will enable you to better support your wife. Template: 3. 13 Tell-Tale Signs A Man Is Unhappy . You know how I may struggle with words when it comes to emotions, so I thought I'd offer you something physical to express how I've been feeling. Still I feel compelled to tell you that I understand. } I feel the cloud approaching and it petrifies me. Expert Verdict, Should You Contact The Person Your Spouse Is Cheating With The Pros And The Cons, 20 Things That Make Wives Unhappy In A Marriage, 13 Tell-Tale Signs A Man Is Unhappy In His Marriage, 25 Ways To Be A Better Wife And Improve Your Marriage, 9 Important Signs Your Husband Wants To Save The Marriage, 15 Signs Of Emotional Neglect In A Marriage, 20 Ways To Make Your Husband Miss You During Separation, 9 Ways To Deal With Your Husband Not Wanting You 5 Things You Can Do About It, 9 Expert Ways To Stop Your Husband From Yelling At You. Can A Toxic Marriage Cause Depression? As a wife who is going through depression, my advice for you is that you also communicate your thoughts and feelings to your partner as that helps you to recover and also sustains your relationship. You never have time for me anymore, and I dont know if that will ever change. You tried so hard to make me happy by buying me expensive clothes and jewelry and trips to Hawaii on our anniversary every year until this year when you lost your job and couldnt afford anything anymore except food, utilities and rent. Do you know why I didnt show? You knew that life with me would have its ups and downs, but you still thought I was worth it. The Waiting Game When A Guy Disappears, Does He Ever Come Back? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Open Letter To The Man Who Stopped Loving Me, Heartbreaking Goodbye Letter To A Narcissist. And I know that you can take your pick of the girls, but dont I still deserve a chance too? Required fields are marked *, I felt like I was reading my own words. Related Reading: Confession of an insecure wife Every night after he sleeps, I check his messages. You say that I need to be more patient but how can I be when things keep going wrong? But I need you to understand that I also need your support right now. Dont ever stop being the man I love and let me remind you of the woman you once adored. There are many ways by which a husband can deal with his wife without having to leave the marriage. You make me so happy even though its sometimes overshadowed by the darkness of my depression. Terms. You dont seem to notice how unhappy I am, and it makes me feel like you dont care about me as much as you used to. I know you probably think to yourself, is this my fault? Minimizing each other's feelings, having little sex, feeling abandoned and powerless, and no longer having fun together all indicate an unhappy marriage .