Okay, I'm done with that litte commercial. One method is successive iterations, such as (Absolutly nothing about that statement was sarcastic) As you can see, I love my families outings(Not unless you're blindor stupid) !#%&&!!! Because they put subliminal messages in them, of course! Creepy. Reading requires perseverance, but once you get into the flow, its like dipping into Faulkners stream of consciousness. from graduation. Pathetic. This Book Is the Longest Sentence Ever Written and Then Published (2020), by humor writer Dave Cowen, consists of one sentence that runs for 111,111 words, and is a stream of consciousness memoir. Is your school playground a gateay to the underworld? Jonathan Coe's new novel - The Rotters' Club - contains a sentence of 13,955 words. Maybe I should just give up. Now, I'm not speaking from personal experience here. HOLY WAX! During the weekdays, I get about seven hours of sleep (usually less) and wake up at 6:11 a.m. Yep. That sounds good, too. Just wait a sec while I stop the music. World's largest sentence. Today, I was checking out some weird news. That is a direct quote from GIR, co-star and comic-relief on INVADER ZIM. I mean, I don't think I could afford a monkey, and I'm not exactly on the streets. That dirty little rat. If you're asleep, the fire will wake you. Hmmmmgood question. Humor the crazy person, okay? It's a word. So he probably didn't see the majority of my site. All along, my entire family has scoffed (nifty word, isn't it?) Why not click on the Very Weird Stuff link to see more, or click on the music link? Define three functions: the first function to extract all the sentences, the second to determine the longest sentence, and the third to determine the average sentence length. *sigh* I can't think of anything to write. The smoke detector either never went off, or went off and the people just slept through it. Somy lack of a car and driving skills force me to use the bus, which comes for me 45 minutes before my school even starts. TACO will eventually destroy him. OkayI can do it. what I fear comes right after here not this life or the next will I ever be able to pass the test? Then, just wait for technology to "catch-up" (get it, catch-up, Ketchup? It even SOUNDS weird. Doesn't that just make you proud to be weird? I can even see the shadow of my hand on the wall from the light those things shed. I bet you were just breathless in anticipation. WANNA SEE ME PULL A TAPEWORM OUTTA MY ****!! NowI know what you guys are thinkingsome of those items on that list are gonna be hard to find. I don't think there actually are any. No, we got the greatest family outing of all. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it sure is funny:) You don't agree? of toilet paper, to do everything. I'm backand it's several hours later. That means my pointless obsession has actually entertained someone besides me! The majority of readers would concur that it sometimes takes more than one reading to fully understand an extremely long sentence in a book. Time for another quote from the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK!!! On the way home, we had gotten approximatly 4 hours into the trip when my mother predicatably decided that we had to go back and eat at the 50th aniversary of her favorite ice cream place. They give lots and lots of homework. And the lady representing them, calls the radio stationon a phone. Soair pressure can be a good thing. There MUST be some sort of conspiracy involved, 'cause if there is, I can get rid of the EVIL thing! [1], As a result, one linguistics textbook concludes that, in theory, "there is no longest English sentence. You know you want to! Maybe, some day far in the future (like next Thursday) I'll print a copy of this insane text. I admit it. Ain't it nifty? (Next Commercial) Get ready fo: Faux's new "reality" TV show, "How Low Can We Go?" I'll just have to do the very best that I can. We think. Ha! Code 452 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paperclips (ME!!!) While she writes every day, shes also devoted to her own creative outletEmma hand-draws illustrations and is currently learning 2D animation. So far this is nowhere near the world record. Called the Boolean Pythagorean Triples problem, it was Solve Now. But, if it had remained that way, I would have had no impetus to continue my pointlessly insane ranting. And that's just what I can list from memory. You cannot judge them simply because they have no apparant function. I don't know if Iraq even existed in the Civil War Era! we had to get there one hour and fifteen minutes early because there was traffic. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. I recently learned in my EVIL Physics class that on average, humans lose one inch of height during the day due to gravity pushing on their spine. You haven't been paying attention have you? AS soon as you're pierced, you have to buy "starter" earrings. How could I forget the stupid Tootsie Roll Pop Commercials? The Official FLaming-Chickens Handbook already confirms that fact! According to someone you problem don't know, this is the second most pointless website ever! Alrighty then. I have officialy run out of ways I could have better spent my time. You wanna play that way. I don't have much of a choice about the whole work thing. Did you know, that Kodak was part of the conspiracy to assasinate John F. Kennedy. Then, she accidently woke our three yappy dogs up, and they relized that they were in a car. CHEESE!!! Although there are many lengthy monologues and multi-line descriptions in literature, the chapter from American author William Faulkners 1936 novel Absalom, Absalom! I've been a paranoid, conspiracy seeking mood lately and the newest threat to my sanity is: smoke detectors! But I'm sure that if I just would have put my mind to it, I could have done it. HA! I don't WANT to do the same thing for an entire year. I bet you couldn't tell. I, being weird, am pretty much immune to such expectations. SEEYA! Any way, I'm leaving to eat some Cheessy goodness! Since I have a rather weird phobia of touching my own skinthis made my evening my own personall torture session. I rule theer*random Loyal Minion whispers in ear* That's right! Some are answers to e-mails, the rest are just stuff I wrote. She'll shake and run from it, then suddenly dive and bite it's head. I only signed up for a semester. No one has even bothered to e-mail them to me*sniffle*. This has been my hourly Public Service Announcement that I only do when I feel like it. are completly accidental and are not the fault/responsibility of the creators. Think about that old saying about "If you gave an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, eventually they would reproduce the entire works of Shakespear". In return for not taking the easy route, he gains a power in the more or less real world. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with reading food labels. Longest Sentence By Rebecca Jones, Arts Correspondent. Because there are an infinite number of people on either side of the spectrum. is it the word be found in the 17th, and 18th letters? But this proof degrades this mysterious, mystical and mystifying "quality" of my words. I don't want to play the stupid animal war card game 'cause the stupdi bear gets eaten by an eaagle.. goodbye ssslllee0yyyyslllllllleeeeeeeepppppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiissssssssssssss gggggggggoooooooooooooddddddddddddd. As you can see, I was in a very interesting state of mind. Oh, and don't forget to celebrate Mad Hatter Day on October the 6th. TAB members got pizzalots of pizzaand candy. Lots of gooey talent. Typical. Or, as an alternative, I could have ruined several plans for world domination that other people made. API tools faq. It's about six contestants who compete to create the worst, least likely "reality" TV show. Was it coherent? Could the pop-up blocker people have chosen a better means to advertise their product? That's is just so extremly creepy. After all, how can I be self derisive, and full of low expectations for this site if I KNOW people are hereseveral thousand of them in fact, in just a few months. Too bad. Especially since I just saw The Matrix: Reloaded. She didn't know. Today we had a "family outing." And secret? *holds up a piece of paper, which, from a distance, appears to have writing on it* Yes, undenyable proof! There are an infinite number of worlds with Harry Potter. When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm gonna do a complete background check. I asked her what the golden rule of christianity was. You see, my school has "block" scheduling. And then I was unable to get on the computer and I forgot most of it. I will show you an example with this completly true stuff that I experienced several years ago. Wooooooo! That is justpathetic. This has been bothering me for a while. Though the record has been broken, Faulkner's legacy lives on. And so, in the interest of wasting even more time, I made a list. It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! And one out of a million people would probably have a few sentences. Although there are many lengthy monologues and multi-line descriptions in literature, the chapter from American author William Faulkner 's 1936 novel Absalom, Absalom! Now her sister sounds an alarm whenever she sees the evil feather. So rather than battle her over the concept of getting dressed in the dark, I get up. You could travel in a straight line at the speed of light for a million years and all you'd prove is that the universe is really, really big. I don't exactly know where it isoh, well. I was alerted to this growing problem in our world community by (Kat, the ruler of all that is almondy)and it greatly concerns me. When you're in space (without a space suit) you don't SUFFUCATE, you don't FREEZE. Everyone I know who has played that game is shocked when I tell themoh, well. A complete and total degregation of our societies values. So when you kill, or whatever, in the game, you are actually ending life somewhere in the universe. That's all. Would it be called DIS? I don't exactly have a good track record with virtual pets. Somehow, I managed to make my furby die. Whole families would gather around their front door, in breathless anticipation while they attempted to barracade me out. Okay, back to the flaming-chickens LTE rivalry. Or I could be like that annoying guy on T.V. I tried to explain. *scrunches eyes and makes funny sounds* Nope. Come on, think about it! In obscure cookbooks. Neither of us thought to question the other. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Just like all those reports people have to do. That made him happy. Sofor the first time in about 5 yearsI wore a dressand something that was complelty white. Founder @ World's Best Story amplifier of creativity & fun! Warning: this product is illegal in most states) Wasn't that entertaining? Okay. I don't care if I have to ride the bus home if I stop work. Now, you may be wondering what is so terrifying about a small, white, feather. That's the rant of the week, month, year, whatever. And so the week went by. So, fellow conspiracy nuts: Take down the evil governmental safety device and take it apart. Why, because they assume it's better quality. They're disgusting, bland and definitly not made of cheez, whatever that is. Number Two: I could helped the earth to find eternal and lasting peace. Just like how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop. I mean, who'd a thought? First of all, you'd have to have an extrodinary amount of free time. William Faulkner in 1954 (Photo: Wikimedia Commons Public Domain)This post may contain affiliate links. Add comment. Help me! Just like a real psychologist. 17 min ago Which is bad. So here it is! It would be a sin against humanity for a better site to exist. Only if I had multiple personalities. No? She said she hurt it the first time, and wanted to put it out of it's misery, so she went back and ran over it 11 more times. Death is like life in that after you die some things start life again inside of you. There was something else I had to tell you loyal *cricket chirps, someone coughs* fans. Okay, if you want to get out, click the little refresh button, okay? Does the commercial take that into account? Right? In other news, I participated in the Second Battle of the Asparagus Wars and chronicled them here. Oh, well. *sigh* My dogs are just weird. Come on all you non-existing people! It'd be like when you go to the bottom of the ocean, only with gravity instead of pressure*shudders* Pressure is evil, too. Its in the mail, I promise! I'll just go on and on about how crazy you COULD be. You say I'm really just talking to myself? HEEEEY! Stock up now with our Valu-Pak to recieve 3-metric tons of Ketchup, all for the low, low price of your brain, since you're obviously not using it anyway. That was sort of a topic, even though it was sort of random. I was contemplating how my heavy load of books made me like a bulldozer and than I was about to suggest to my friend, "Meg" that we invent one. (Believe me, though, you never want to see me driveI get easily distracted by clouds and signs saying FREE KITTIES!kitties are hugablebut if you hug themthey'll scratch your eyes outso then you have to hiss at them and establish dominencebut kitties don't like thateven though dogs dobut kitties are obviously not dogseven though they are fuzzy.) And then the quality will go down and the vicious spiral of good and bad will continue untill I either give up this text, or go crazyer. Do not MOCK me! What line of buisness, do you ask? Here goes. It says that in black ander lime green! After graduating with a BA in Fashion and Textile Design in 2013, Emma decided to combine her love of art with her passion for writing. Look how long this has gotten. I'm so very, very tired. The reason I have to get up at 6 something is that III ride the bus to school. This action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. Does it even matter? Is anyone even reading this? An enemy so hideous that Moose must destroy it at all costs. If you have something better to do, why wouldn't you be doing it right now? Even the air is conspiring to squish me! In school, back before I even owned a computer, I'd type random words for long periods of time, 'cause I had nothing better to do. I probably won't later. You can read a little each day. Oooootime for today's topic. With our patented "spray". E-mail. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. This is just a pointless excursive in spelling errors and grammatical imprecision. We accept PayPal, Venmo (@openculture), Patreon and Crypto! become not entertained, the Patron Saint of Paper Clips will be forced to take drastic measures. THey might havve been important, but we keep forgetting them. It didn't. Sentences can be made arbitrarily long in various ways. Said order will in no way be held responsible for any damages, injuries, loss of life, limb, head, or organs. Waitaren't I already doing that? I was inspired by the various other "longest texts ever" on the internet, and I wanted to make my own. Now, most families will go bowling, or putt-putt golfing. Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. I'm back. or possibly "Who or What is Kodak". I spend from 8-5 doing what everyone else wants. The end is not here. It's a law, I think. That's why I like fast-food salt. I usually have less than 30 minutes. Did I resume asking retorical questions? I'm pretty sure that the "smelly yellow ball" that he started throwing was his own feces (poo). This sentence is the longest. Number Five: I could have read more books, played more video games and watched more mindless television. It takes patience to read, but once you get into the rhythm, its like delving into Faulkners stream of consciousness. If you have a decent graphing calculator, plug in the infinity symbol divided by anything, (even infinity). Anyway, I better go or the quality of this will go down in that evil downward spiral thing I discussed a few months back. It tooked about envelooping (enveloping) cracked nuts and parables. I wonder if I've made the world record? Did you really think I'd give you guys my ADDRESS? Or have I been doing that too much lately? Or maybe I just wanna go to bed. Unless you have a digital camera, which are a symbol of freedom from the old ways and willing enslavement to the new ways. Why, you ask? Yes, I am. I am writing to let you know that I have received an email from {name of recipient}. One day the chief sent his servants everywhere to find a good story-teller. I think. CHECK OUT MY ARMPITS!!! ME: Yeah, but I told her that she'd be a terible ruler. I knowyou are as shocked as I am. It feels unstoppable, and then it stops. Let's keep in touch. As Neo realizes all of this, through a nearly omniscient Architect of the Matrix, he makes another choice. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. However . this is not a long paragraph it is multiple, I am just not as pretty as my friend Haylee she is fab so give me a chance for this job. Our definition is "a lung disease caused by inhalation of very fine silicate or quartz dust." The entry for this word can be found in our Medical Dictionary. But untill that day, the concept of the smoke detector is useless. Originally from Northern Ireland, she is an artist now based in Berlin. *sniffle* I just want to have some FREAKIN' variety in my daily grind, you know? I founded the secret message, you ok man? 'I found nothing else to do but to offer him on of my good Swede's ship's biscuits I had in my pocket'" And we're supposed to be GOOD in English! Nor can I find it on any search engines. Here is a long equation without line number. It's wrong, I tell you. If my site manages to last a decade, my readers *snicker* will probley wonder what I'm talking about. Of course, when I started out I accidentally hit the rocks approximately three million times. I'm just bored. What does this mean to you? (Next exciting commercial! All rights reserved. Kodak, as you may know, is a film developing company. I think this is so cool that he spent this time on it but who would really read this all, omg i have to read this about a week and im done and i just want to say this have made my day, i have wrote a story which has 12083 words in it. aSk anybody. Yesthat's rightsuicide. I figured you rush right on over to e-mail me. What nowhmmmmmshould I share with you more of my paranoid/delusional conspiracy theories? Someone did something incredbly stupid, but because they were powerful, everone acted like it was a stroke of genius. But how, may I ask, can you find the end of the FREAKIN' universe? All I know is that I've been assuming one thing while the person in charge has been assuming a completly different thing. Not only did we get world class cuisine (under-cooked hotdogs and over-cooked hamburgers), my little sister (age 10) got taught pool by someone I strongly supect is an ex-convict! Anyway, I just finished rereading my longest text ever. EryeahI'm back. Welltwo can play by THOSE rules. Anyway, moving on! They'll probably just call us weird and laugh at us, but that's beside the point! e)My psychotic bunny predicted I'd die doing it. if you like our Facebook fanpage, you'll receive more articles like the one you just read! I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. Right now, while you are sitting in your "chair" and eating your "junk food", millions of almonds are commiting suicide. I can't believe I'm bothering to do this. Well, I better leave before I go on and on about more "reality" theories. You see, most people, they don't like reading or writing. Wellthey are. Here are 65 examples of long sentences ranging from the relatively brief 96 words to one of the longest sentences at 2,156 words. My mom and my stupid little 10-year old sister loves it, though. It's been practically proven that Ketchup transforms into a highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. This means that we only have a very short while to prepare. Otherwise, I guess you're stuck with me. Not only that, Dum-B-Gon: stimulates weight loss, cures "any" illness, does simple houshold chores, never leaves the toilet seat up and is the perfect gentle companion for your kids. I even impress myself. I few months ago I saw a movie about that. Who'd thought that I could use time that many times in only a few sentences? "Lots of death, lots and lots of death in this section. What, is there a giant sign saying, "DEAD END"? **** THAT LIPSTICKS THE WRONG COLOR FOR YOU!! They avoided the sun at all costs. It'll be covered in chicken feathers, and shaped like a chicken. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. WellI DO have a special treat for you weirdos who apparantly like wasting time! And I'm willing to enlighten you, the potentially you-know-what reader. And I've realized that I am a complete idiot. I better go. I better stop typing before I have a heart attackjust rememberThe Matrix has youI'm back. She is a heavy-set Yorkshire Terrior (12 lbs.) It also shows the total number of sentences in a text file. Before she could start listing all of America's enemies, I gave her a hint. My brother(age 13) even decided upon a new job he wants when he's old enough to work, a busboy at the bar. MOOOO! THAT IS ALL. RISE UP AND BARE YOUR BISCUIT FILTY FANGS AT THE LEASH WIELDING DEMON!! I think. Hmmmmintersting. Okay. Longest math problem copy and paste We'll provide some tips to help you choose the best Longest math problem copy and paste for your needs. . Come on, I won't hurt you, I promise! Well, seeya *waves brightly* I got to go to my Grendel (really cool book) project for school. It's the sequel to the movie that revolutionized the standard by which we judge special effects. Sodoesn't that make you want to take Kansas' side (I sincerly appologize if you are from Kansas). To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider making a donation. ME: My vicious, psychotic, flesh-eating bunny-rabbit wants to rule the world. I needs the duct tape! He always enjoyed it because it meant that somewhere, he was the Supreme Dictator of the Galaxy. And John F. Kennedy (JFK) was an alien bent on global domination. No matter how long and twisted they get, they do not wilt, wither, or drag; they run river-like, turning around in asides, outraging themselves and doubling and tripling back. And I feel weird! (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Image by Carl Van Vechten, via Wikimedia Commons. Well, at least she knows that slaves were involved in the war. How can I survive without the sticky goodness? Remember to send your answers to my sanity quiz to the e-mail account, flamingchickens333@hotmail.com Oh, and once I refer to myself in the first person again, the handbook quote is over. There were many people that were the same age as me and my siblings (no one in the room but us were under 30) Us kids had to be dragged kicking and screaming from the bar ( I almost fell asleep during the last game I watched) As we left, there was a feeling of goodwill and fellowship between all(my sister locked me out of the car and wouldn't let me in untill I started yelling profanity in her general direction) The high point of the entire night was when my mother gave me $21 for my report card. The winner not only gets the million-dollar prize, they get the chance to produce the show they created. ALWAYS. For an ENTIRE MONTH I have possesed the arcane knowledge, but I forgot to share it with you, my loyal potentially imaginary reader. But, what would be the fun in that? Furthormore, is it considered accepted behavior to talk to these dead reptiles, in a cooey, baby talky kind of voice? Seeyahmmm..I wonder if there's subliminal stuff in my computerI'm back. I have checked the email from {name of the person} and will contact you. I'm getting bored, so I think I'm done for the day. *sighs dramatically* I'm back. In English, and stuff, if you miss one little detail, at most you lose partial credit, but you usually get it all right. Despite its inclusion in the dictionary, it's generally considered superfluous, having been coined simply to claim the title of the longest English word. WOOF! That's funny!!!! If you you don't have time to waste, what are you doing here?!!! So crazy it just might work! And so I'm in deep doo-doo. Good for it. Towards the end of the movie, Neo chooses to tell Trinity to stay out of the Matrix, since he saw her die in it. Halfway though I used my four remaining brain-cells to decide that the game was dumb. Celebrating creativity and promoting a positive culture by spotlighting the best sides of humanityfrom the lighthearted and fun to the thought-provoking and enlightening. Yep that's right. CEASE YOUR FLATULENT WINDS AND HEAR MY MIND NUMBING EXPULSIONS OF WICKED NOISE! And what did he do to me? The Longest Story in The World. But, my stupid internal alarm clock is starting to wake me up around six. My evil, EVIL sister. I mean, don't you think the creators of Cheese-Nips had a box of Cheez-Its out when they were designing their product? DROOOOOL OVER MY MAGICAL POWERS!! | 0.79 KB, JSON | Bye! "Yep, Bill, time to dump the arsnic in so it tastes pure!"